Friday, January 01, 2010

Religion

Religion? Why does religion drive me away?

Control. You do not want to be controlled. You are a practioner of Buddhism, because the Buddha--according to the current mode of interpretation and translation of 2500 years ago--told his students, " don't believe anyone, not even me." The Buddha wasn't the only master to teach such a lesson. Christ taught this, Khrisnamurti, Maharishi, Rinpoche, Dalai Lama.

Human beings are so hungry for leadership, for philosophy and spiritual guidance, they find a teacher and open their hearts and minds and they become like little children. You are included in this, Jennifer. You follow like a little lamb, out of hunger and from a core belief that you do not know--when this is simply not true. You know--all people know. The power in a single human being is enormous and breath taking--as vast and as dizzying as the Grand Canyon, the pyramids, the sunset, the stars in the sky. What is lacking is belief. Human beings believe themselves to be small and consider others to be either dismissible or elevated. Since humans hunger so for divine guidance --a desire that orients from within--yet they look outward, set sights on a spiritual leader or teacher and give over their wise knowing. When questions enter their mind (and questions are vitally important) they press them down with doubt and a conditioned belief that they do not--cannot--know their own minds and then need rises up and gobbles the question away. The follower reduces himself and the priest, spiritual leader, teacher is elevated to a higher place. From this infantilization of self, dogma is born and exploitation results. Industry, the industry of religion is born.

Religion bugs you for this reason--you are infantilized--by your own condition believes of being small and worthless and unworthy--false humility as a woman (and there is a great deal to say about this) and then you are also exploited by the spiritual leaders--so called--who don't invite questions and debate and even complete disbelief.

Invite such a situation with your own writing students, your readers, your children, and your partner. Invite debate. "Don't believe me, look for yourselves." This is the true foundation of truth. Seek as a child of God--as God--as a life force in form.

If you are here, in a human form, able to ask the highest questions about being, suffering, transcendence, human evolution, intelligence and God, light and life, then you are capable of finding the answers within. For anyone who reads your writing and who asks questions, always remind them (and yourself) that you don't know. You seek as well. Invite debate and disagreement and ask--always ask--"what do you think and see and believe?" So many people will quote a test from the ancient writings of the bible or other spiritual teachers--they will pound on the table with conviction--refusing to accept that the text is old, has been translated a thousands times by that many egos and agendas. The words of ancient test are--in so many ways--old too. What is fresh and now is the knowledge within beings now. Humans--with a vast knowing--as great as the universe--have access to the library of all time and knowing. They need only reach inside and begin. Begin in a simple way. Ask the questions. If only by writing them down. Ask a notepad (and truly, this is how you began Jennifer. 15 years ago, that was your beginning. You had one unanswerable question. "Who was my mother?" The question, which you wrote into a journal, became the boat and the river and your life--all flowing to where you are today).

Ask questions without needing to know the answers. Your questions--today--come out of hearts and minds of this age, this moment. The questions are alive, they are wisdom, they are truth. Your questions get your boat off dry land and into the flow. Your questions are a form of surrender. You accept that you do not have access to answers--exact answers--and also open yourself to the greater intelligence of the universe--the unmanifested and yet alive pulse of being.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Real or a Dream?

Another summer blows out and while it seems impossible that fall closes in and my beloved children will return to school tomorrow, arms loaded with bags of supplies, here it is.

Josephine is now as long legged as a colt and Spencer is as wide in the chest as a man. What's happening to these beings that were toddling around yesterday?

I burst out in tears today, describing Jo to her new 1st grade teacher. I couldn't help it. I told the teacher, "you're just so lucky to have Jo in your class. She's such a light."

Spencer stood on the porch as I cut his hair this afternoon and we were eye to eye. I realized I could no longer pick him up without causing myself serious injury yet all I wanted was to hug him close the way I did one year ago. He stays just long enough for a quick squeeze and is on his manly way.

As they drift off to sleep, I sit in the cool westerly winds of the night and watch the sun paint the clouds another shade of sunset pink. They say it's all a dream, or an illusion, and I believe that to be true. Life, moving so swiftly now, is both excruciating and beautiful. It is a dream too impossible to comprehend, too vast to contain and too fleeting to grasp, I can only take another deep breath and watch as it passes in front of me, through me, with me and without a me, this great play of being.

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Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Disney Version of Life


I'm on the bike, taking a slow pedal through the manicured blocks of one of the most coveted neighborhoods in Portland. It's so pristine here, it's a little worrisome. I can almost delude myself into thinking that these pretty houses with their pretty flowers hold happy pretty people leading happy pretty lives.

Ahead of me is a young woman walking a dog and I think, "I know her." I pedal past and do a casual look over, which isn't so casual since she looks up and catches me. Yes, I do know her.

I stop the bike and get that wild feeling inside about how I just knew it. What makes it wilder is how I haven't seen this person in years and yet, here she is.

We start up a conversation, catching up on life and you know what came up as the first topic of conversation? MEN. We talked about hers, we talked about mine, we talked about men from our past, we talked about men in our future. It was men, men, men. ALL ABOUT MEN.

When the man conversation had been exhausted (but not before she reassured me that soon, I'd find a great guy) we talked about...ourselves.

She is writing a novel She is achieving an MFA in writing. These accomplishment are what we talked about LAST.

I parted with my freind thinking...why did we talk about ourselves last? Why did we talk about men for so long? Why did she say "hang in there, you'll find a great guy?" Did I look like I needed a guy? Am I incomplete without one? If I do meet some great guy, is this where the scene fades to a sunset and it's all peace and happiness?

Don't be confused. This isn't really about men. I love men. Being in a relationship with a man is lovely and healthy. Men are divine beings. But it's perplexing? Why is the story about the men in our lives more interesting than anything else? Why are men so important to us anyway?

We don�t have to ask the Chinese this question; they make it very clear that men are the most important members of the species. That�s why all their daughters are in orphanages or adopted out around the world. There is already a clear sign that this shortsighted mentality is going to leave China in a world of hurt; after all, who is going to marry these boys if there are no girls around?

We are not so very different here in America. Sure, we love our daughters and would NEVER do such a thing, after all, we are enlightened right? But, our daughters are watching us think, talk, tend and worry about men. They are watching us while we fuss over our weight and looks. They are watching a world where all the decisions made are made by men. The most popular videos out there, for our daughters, are by Disney and feature Barbie in the roles of various fairy tale women who live happily ever after with...you got it, a prince.

We are part of a culture where the emphasis has always been on having a man in order to be valid in some way and of course, there's also the drive to keep that man or if we lose him, get another. Oh sure, during our times of relationship transition we pretend that we don't need a man but deep down, are forming the image of that perfect man in our mind, hoping he'll be under the next rock we turn over. It's the whole Disney version of life. Prince Charming will come, sweep us off our feet and we'll live in a great castle without a care in the world.

Look at where this version of life has brought us.

We are at a time of human evolution where men make almost all the decisions about ...well, everything. Men are our heads of state, they are the majority in congress, they are the heads of all the corporations, the churches, the law, the education system, the media and of course, the military. In contrast, women are practically invisible. Who's the woman with all the power in our culture? Some men argue that women do have all the power, since they control sex and raise children, but again, who makes all the decisions that affect the world?

Think of it like this, we are like a huge giant and half of our body is paralyzed and ineffective. That paralyzed half is the feminine half, not just of women but of men as well. It�s psychology 101, every being has a masculine and a feminine component. Most of us are deeply asleep to this reality though and go around projecting on men (and woman). To know my masculine side, I think I need to find the right man. To know his feminine side, he thinks he needs the right woman. The truth is, we don�t need the perfect relationship with another. We need the perfect relationship with ourselves, which starts with understanding that we contain both masculine and feminine components. Beyond that, we need to recognize that the feminine aspect of all of us is in a state of catatonia.

Pull the newspaper out and look at the headlines. If the feminine were awake, we would not be killing people all over this planet for oil. George Bush would not be our president. We would be horrified by the concept of manifest destiny. We wouldn't be cutting funding for schools. We wouldn't be pillaging the planet of its resources faster than a kid cuts through his Christmas gifts. We wouldn't allow priests to molest followers. We wouldn't allow kids to pick up guns and shoot each other. We wouldn't deprive a woman of contraception and make her have a baby she can�t take care of. I cannot believe the feminine side, of all of us, would allow the hell of world that we are currently living in. I actually believe the feminine side of all of us is sick of the way things are going and deep down, feels like her head is about to explode off but what really she really needs to do is WAKE UP and get to work.

So, here I am writing about her and what I guess I am really doing is writing about myself and you all of us. Do we really know the powerful woman who lives inside of us? Is she awake or is she still in a deep frozen hibernation thinking that if the right man comes along, everything will just be dandy?

I have to believe that it doesn�t all begin and end with �the man.� I have to believe that men are probably a little worn out (and humiliated) by being the ones in charge. I have to believe that they are tired of being the center of attention too. I also have to believe that a powerful feminine presence is about to wake up, in all of us. Last, I have to believe that today�s conversation with my old friend is part of that wake up call and that I am writing about this right now in order to stop beginning my conversations with the status of my relationship with a man.

It�s going to be a hard habit to break. We are living in a man�s world, after all, but I remind myself that every man came through the womb of a woman. So in the end, it doesn�t really begin with a man but rather, with a woman!



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