Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Write Your Memoir in a Week

In September, the 15th to the 19th, we will meet for five days and get the job done.

I'll teach all I know about writing a memoir (I've done four now).

You will write. We will meet to talk--just a little bit--each day, we will read in workshop format to create group mind/intention/power and you will write and write and write. You will leave with the first draft of your memoir.

You will be inspired and directed on your way.

For more information, contact me via this sight. Simply click on the mast head of this page, go into the teachings page and send me an email to register.

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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Never Give Up

We're in the car, Spencer and I. Ahead of us is a long stretch of hot asphalt leading to Target and he's got fifty bucks burning a hole in his pocket.

"What's going on Mom? You're looking kind of sad, come on, tell me, I know when you are sad."

Tears well in my eyes but I shake my head. "Everything's fine, Buddy," I say.

"Is it Rog? Did he upset you?"

"No, no," I say.

"Is it that searching for your birth mother thing?" he says, "how's that going?"

I look over at my boy, dark hair, dark eyes, wide in the chest now--eleven going on forty. Outside is a strip mall with Baja Mexican, Old Navy and Home Depot.

"It's not going so well," I say, "I got a letter from the state registry in Nevada and no one in my family is looking for me. I don't know, it just bother's me. It makes me sad."

I flick the tears away and reach over to his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Spencer's a kid, I just want him to be a kid and not have to worry about yet another aspect of my past. Yet, without my mother and ancestory to connect to, I've learned he's dealing with my past anyway. Being relinquished at birth has really done a number on me. Mother's aren't supposed to leave babies. It's like the sun up in the morning and down at night. It's primal. But mine left, just like millions of other mothers, and now I'm trying to make my way home only it's tough. I can't find her and I get sad.

Spencer is quiet for a long time, just looking out the windshield and the funny thing is, the stretch of road we're on reminds me a lot of the long roads in Nevada. The heat of the day is Nevada heat too.

I make a left into the Target parking lot but instead of being ready to launch from the car so he can gather up the desired Lego machine, he shifts in his seat.

"You know I have a teacher who tells me to never give up," he says. "Don't give up, Mom, be sad if you have to, but when you're done being sad, keep looking."

I park the car and turn off the ignition. Something so subtle passes between us, it's like wind or a memory. After all, it's his family too.

"Okay," I agree, "I'll keep looking."

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Great Turning

When your life becomes unbearable to you, it is inevitable you will turn inward. You can medicate or distract yourself, for a while, but eventually these alternatives will become unbearable as well.

Then you will turn inward and examine your choices, your experiences, your history and your culture.

There is no easy way to do this turning. In fact, it might be the hardest thing you will ever do. This is because your turning will be aggravating those who know you. They will be inconvenienced. They will not understand. They might even accuse you of being crazy, cruel and/or selfish. This is because you are now paying attention to yourself and not them. Yes, that will be upsetting.

But none of what they say or even believe matters in the end because, in the end, someone will pay the highest price for your unbearable life, if it goes unexamined, and that person will be you.

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Monday, May 05, 2008

Pearl

Spiritual teachers have told me, "tame the mind, then train the mind."

But I realize these are step three and four. What has been missing are steps one and two. Step one: find the mind. Step two is: catch the mind.

I've only just discovered the mind "is" and "it" is not who I am. I've been quite confused about taming and training what I didn't even know "was." But I sat with all the other students, nodding like I got it, since they all seemed to get it and what kind of idiot would I be if I asked, "hey, what mind??" See that thought right there is...THE MIND. So I've been doing this solo, meditating for years now and finally, get that I've been missing the two important instructions (listed above). Okay. I get it now. I can now find the mind. The hard work of this moment...catch it.

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

Pearl




Just like that,
you can change
your mind











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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Pearl

When you are writing, no approach, style choice, page count, revision, throwing-it-all-away-and-start-over, stalling, changing your mind, learning and/or workshop, is a waste of your time. Everything you do is part of the creative process, EVERYTHING, without exception and it’s all important. If you intend to get somewhere (even if you don’t know where that somewhere is), and you are writing, you will get there. It’s already happening—even if you don’t see it as you are doing this writing work!




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Sunday, April 13, 2008

Remarkable Memoir

If you have found your way to this site because you are penning a life story, look to the efficiency of this woman's craft. Her jam packed sentences, each holding melody as well as moving the story along, make up the most inspiring writing I have read in years (if ever, frankly). I pray I grow up to be such a writer!

As a side note, I did have to stop near the end due to the repetitive abuse that just didn't improve, despite the passing of years. There was a bleakness reminiscent of Angela's Ashes. I cared so much about the characters Ashworth developed, reading became agony. I flashed forward to see what the heck happened, just to be done.

There is a quality of writing about abuse that sometimes ends up being abusive, even when the sentances are perfection.

Over all, I did not waste my time on her book and keep it close for reference as I write. I learned far more than this posting can say. I cannot wait for this woman's novel.

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