Prolifically Raw: Dear Writers and Readers:

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Dear Writers and Readers:

One of our fellow writers, Monica Holloway, has been going through a remarkable process that we are all a very big part of. If you don�t know Monica, she wrote a book titled Driving with Dead People. This book is about her childhood, her remarkable character and her method of coping with long-term sexual abuse within the family home.

It is a gripping, heart rending and amazing book I endorse and applaud.

Having come out, Monica has been received by a very welcoming and loving publishing house, a home based community that is in shock about her story but unfortunately, now there is denial on the part of the perpetrators. This denial, by her mother, her father and one of her sisters, has led to a major media source, NPR�s Diane Rehm Show , pulling an interview with Monica, at the request of Monica�s mother and sister. Monica was not given the courtesy of a call from the producers of this program, while her sister was sent a handwritten note. Monica�s response has been essays to various newspapers and hopefully, a national magazine. Her appropriate question is: Why are perpetrators getting more credibility than victims? It�s a fine question and one that must be asked, again and again. History gives us the answer though. Perpetuators bank on denial, fear and silence to continue to commit their crimes. And, they do.

The statistics of abuse are stunning. According to The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network , every 2.5 minutes, someone in America is sexually assaulted. The UN reports 150 million girls (14% of the worlds child population) are sexually assaulted each year. 73 million boys are assaulted, which is 7% of the worlds child population.

Initially, Monica�s publisher was in a tailspin as well and Monica has had the nightmare of watching her life and her confession be turned into an attack against her and her story.

Why this is important?

When we are abused, especially sexually, silence is the weapon of the attacker. If the community cannot be there, with love and acceptance, to hear and embrace the story and the victim, the victim and more importantly, the victim�s psyche, will retreat.

The psyche, like a wild animal, is much smarter than we know. If the environment of the world is not safe, the psyche will and does take retreat until it is safe.

If women and girls cannot come forward with their stories and be received by the community in love and acceptance, how can we possibly expect the violence and sexual abuse to stop?

We cannot.

The environment of the world is changing but Monica�s experience tells us exactly what kind of environment we are working with in the world today. She is suffering now too! Night time is the worst, she is up at all hours, tormented by the shadows of what happened in the past and doubting the veracity of her own truth. Of course, this is the work of a psyche trying to protect her and make her world safe again. It is not the truth but the sad truth of this situation and our culture is that she is in deep pain, a continuation of the abuse she suffered as a child. So in fact, she is still is getting abused and the power of the perpetrator is still being felt.

For a moment, and I know none of us need to take a long moment, let us think of all the children and women in the world who are literally ALL ALONE in this hell of their minds daily. Think of all the abuse we have suffered and how it�s been trapped in our hearts and minds for years, lifetimes, generations!

It is time for this silence to be broken! It is time for healing to begin. Monica is one of the warriors on the front line of this call to action. Monica needs our support and our concern. Please contact her via her site, talk about her on your blogs, do whatever you are called to do to help pass the word along. Please contact the Oprah Winfrey Show and NPR. Raise your voices. Let the voices of the survivors� outcry those of the perpetrators. Most of all, hold the intention in your heart to change this situation by having the ongoing courage to tell your story.

In love and commitment to the truth, Jennifer