Monday, July 31, 2006

Unpacking My Crowded Mind

7000 feet in the mountains, life takes on a different spin and yet, in a strange way, it�s the same old swirl!

Since being here, I�ve hiked to every mountain peak on the land and have done a weeks worth of meditation in 24 hours. I�ve been soaked to the bone by a sudden rainstorm, sunburned as I perched on tumbled boulders and have listened to river song that tells me a million secrets I can�t translate.

Last night a thunder storm rolled over us, at midnight, cracking open the sky with brilliant white lights and a sound bigger than all the sounds of my lifetime. Spencer and I held hands and were waiting to see if this was it for us, would the gods turn us into marshmallows this time?

When we woke up, Spencer said he was really scared and I told him it was epic.

�What�s epic?� he said.
�Bigger than life,� I said.

This morning I hiked up muddy trails to a meadow and sat for two hours and finally, after more than 90 minutes, my mind found an opening for the stillness that is the way it is. So much sorrow lifted in me for the way I live.

God, my mind is so crowded!

How I get lost in all my swirls of karma and complexity.

For the rest of my life, this will be my practice.

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