Prolifically Raw: All the Way

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

All the Way

In these days of seeking healing and healers, teaching and teachers, the question is, who is the right one and who is the wrong one and how do we know the difference?

This brings up the additional questions of how much money, time and effort we expend and what do we do when we are misdiagnosed, misled, have our boundaries crossed and heaven help us, get ourselves hurt in the name of healing?

All of these questions have come and gone for me, on the journey. I�ve been in the hands of a Rolfer, a Feldenkrais practioner, two hypno-regressionists, an herbalist, a Jungian, various energy workers, a muscle tester, a wide range of massage therapists, a life coach, a Gestalt therapist and an acupuncturist �oh yeah and a couple of marriage counselors (one who got me into my marriage and one who helped me out!)

Ten years and thousands of dollars later, I can say that it�s been an interesting ride and, more than once, I have been taken for a ride as well. I�ve been brutally hurt (emotionally and physically) by some of these self-proclaimed experts and more than once, have had personal boundaries crossed that, if reported, would result in serious malpractice lawsuits.

And, these are times when therapy and all the methods available are in flux. Being flexible is sometimes required for deep insight and going with the flow can result in profound growth. I have been flexible, I have flowed and I have learned. I've noticed the ones with the least amount of lived personal experience are often the least kind and compassionate, the ones with the most education are usually the most guarded (and thus less human) and the ones with the most messed up personal lives are usually the most adamant about how their methods is the method (although this is sometimes hard to see, since we don't usually get that close to our therapists...and with good reason, if we saw into the mess of their personal lives...we wouldn't give them a dime).

I have to believe this mish mash of healers is a good thing though, it has given me a great deal of choice and even power (when I�ve chosen to take it) over my process. After a few years of sampling from the therapeutic buffet, I�m learning to be much more discriminating about the healers �out there� and much more open to the most effective therapist of all...the wise one who resides within.

This final lesson is one I have learned from the most amazing therapist I�ve had to date, only he isn�t a therapist at all. He describes himself as a monk. Okay, he�s more than a monk, he�s enlightened and that�s hard to find here in the west. How many therapists do we get to meet with �enlightened� at the end of their title. We�ve got people with all sorts of complex titles (as well as title complexes), but enlightened? Not so much!

In the almost two years of being a student of this monk, he has never asked me to believe him, he has never raved about his successes, he is above all things, humble! And, he tells me, time and time again, go in, trust yourself, learn from your own experience. He empowers me with my own ability! His practices are elegant and complex, his teachings are simple and direct and his advice has proved, thus far, to be dead on!

He once told me he was with me all the way to the end of the line�enlightenment. He held his fingers together and said, �I am with you like this.� He tugged his fingers tight. �I�m with you like a father who stays by his child.�

As I approach my own transition from being a full time student of healing to a part time teacher of how to heal through the art of writing, I am greatly humbled by all the healers I�ve been exposed to. I am in awe of this enlightened master though. While I am not 100% clear on what kind of teacher I want to be, I am getting a very good idea of the kind of teacher I don�t want to be.

I do not want to be a teacher who ever claims to know more than I know.
I do not want to be a teacher who crosses boundaries and causes suffering.
I do not want to be a teacher who is so self confident in my method that I lose my humility and worse, my humanity.

In the example of my teacher, the enlightened monk:

I do hope to follow in his footsteps. I do hope to develop such a deep understanding of the nature of being that I can see the wisdom within each person and gently ease their way toward that wisdom, I do hope I remain humble enough to stay out of the way when I need to and smart enough to step in when that is required. Most of all, I hope I am able to evolve a deep love for my fellow human so I can offer the kind of consistent and reliable support he offers his students. I even hope, one day, that I can say to my fellow traveler, fingers hooked, �I am with you all the way to the end�like a mother who stays by her child,� and mean it!