Prolifically Raw: So Many Gems

Thursday, February 17, 2005

So Many Gems

Letters come in daily, two a day, three a day, sometimes four and when I look at them as a collection, they make me think of how each one of us is linked, twisted and turning around each other in this strange way. As we pull our individual directions, we are so sure we are separate but look at these letters, they are not so different, each of them holds this connection of concern and hope and difficulty and sadness. They bring me back to believing that we want the same thing, which is to know we are not alone!

The letters of the last few weeks shimmer so, that I had to pluck out the diamonds, sapphires, emeralds and rubies and then toss them up to the heavens (aka, internet) like an offering:

My name is Madeleine Frank and I'm a 14-year-old girl from Germany. First I read, was "Blackbird" ("Der Sommer liegt noch vor dir") and yesterday I read "Still Waters" ("Wenn der Himmel dich tr�gt"). I read till 1 o'clock in the night. Your story is bad and sad but with one of the best happy ends I know. You get a child Spencer and you get love.

My life isn't so bad like yours, but yes, there are very much shadows and so what.

My family isn't so good like I wish and there are moment, where I wish I had a better family.

I hope I can find my inner peace.

Have you considered searching for your biological family?
Perhaps you would feel less disconnected to life if you made a connection.

That was pretty much how I spent my childhood. I recently ran into someone who went to my high school. It�s been almost 20 years, and she said "I remember you, I was so afraid of you. You always looked so mad." Survival. Keep everyone at a distance. Keep the secrets.

I first read Blackbird right after my son was born. It has been an inspiration in terms of accepting my crummy childhood and has been one of many things that has allowed me to enjoy all the wonderful things that I am experiencing as an adult.

I have just devoured all three this week. I am stunned and blown away. We have had so many of the same thoughts. How did you get inside of my head?

I loved every minute of the book,
but had to keep reminding myself
that this was not
fiction.

These horrible things that happened made me cry.

I've gone from
waking up the dog
with crying
to starting him
barking
with my laughing.

My boss introduced me to this woman who grew up in the area,
I tell her my last name thinking
one of her kids knew one of my older siblings.

She said," No, but I went to high school with a Billy Mansfield. " (My father).

I burst into tears!

It's been 15 years, just the mention of his name by this stranger, and I fell to pieces!

I guess I need to deal with that.

It (your book) is always full of hope and courage, even though the situation is very hard... I don't know if what I said is correct English, but I just wanted to keep you informed that I'm going to make an article for the French magazine Jowebzine. You can see it at http://www.jowebzine.com/ If you have anything that you would say to us, French people, about your book, or whatever, just keep me informed.

I teach memoir, essay and novel writing at a community college in Eugene, Oregon. This week I attended a lecture by Debra Gwartney at the Mid Valley Willamette Writers meeting in Eugene. Debra, a Breadloaf scholar and adj. prof at PSU, gave a nice talk until she got to the part where she expressed a bias toward past-tense memoir, so that the writer manages time and the Philip Lopate "two strand narration" technique.

I'd love to hear what you have to say about this.

Thanks so much. I nearly wept at your reply .

I feared I would have to write you
c/o the publishing house
and my letter would be traversing
the floors a large building in NYC
for the next 4 years.

I picked up Still Waters back in December with the hopes of starting it while on vacation. I opened it for the first time at 10pm one night and finished it at 10am the next morning. As I was reading (more like inhaling) your words, I kept looking up at the clock with the panicked thought of �no, not 1am already, just one more hour

Absent the fact that unlike you,
I was outright obnoxious
in my demand for birthing drugs
(if there had been a crack van nearby,
I would have waddled over there in a heartbeat).

I'm sure we'll have plenty to talk about either way (one woman called me breathlessly yesterday wondering if she could borrow my copy of Still Waters - she had just finished BlackBird and HAD to know what happened immediately!)

At times I would read a passage and think, yeah, right, that would NEVER happen.
I reached the end, realized it was a true story, and burst out sobbing.
Please note, I am NOT a crier.

I feel like I know you the way you tell your stories.

Thank you for opening your life to me!