Prolifically Raw: Feng Shui, Tea, Creativity and the Major Revelation.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Feng Shui, Tea, Creativity and the Major Revelation.

Starting today, at this very moment, I take a solemn vow. I promise to stop complaining how I don�t have time to get mundane tasks done, to write, to read and to think. More than that, I vow to stop blaming my children for this lack of time.

In my last book, Show Me the Way, I wrote a story at the end called Life is What Happens where I�m in a coffee shop. My baby had puked on me, Spencer was in the thick of a spilled chocolate milk crisis and I had to pay the cashier for my Americano, muffin, cookie and juice order. Oh yeah, there was this line of childless, very impatient and very, very irritated customers stacked up behind me. I wrote about laughing at how that moment was the essance of being the mother and that, by letting go, I was on the verge of getting it. EXCEPT�I got even more of it today, over a plate full of Madeline cookies, chocolate dipped biscotti�s and a poppy seed muffin. Three years after I wrote that book about getting it, I think I REALLY FINALLY DO HAVE IT�.

Let me set the scene of this inspiration:

Jo and I were at our coffee shop and for the first time in weeks, were able to get a table inside. I took off our coats and saved the table. Jo ran to the counter screaming in her little girl voice about how she needed to look at the case of goodies.

�Lift me up, Mommy,� she hollered. �LIFT ME UP!!!"

I lifted her as instructed, waited for her to make up her mind (ummm�the muffin, no the cookie, no, the chocolate biscotti) and finally paid for our order. Josephine went ahead to our table, balancing her cookie, muffin and biscotti on her plate. I followed behind with the tea and an extra mini-cup in case she needed a hit of my chai..

Our table was part booth, part table which meant we shared a bench on one side and on the other side, were chairs. I had the chair. Jo had her end of the booth. She was sharing said booth with a solo man and at the end, two men deep in conversation about politics. The solo guy was close enough to be swept over by Jo�s mesh skirts and to get an earful of her very loud voice. No matter how often I say �inside voice, Honey,� she just isn�t getting the thing about volume. Her voice, indoors, can be a lot like that feedback sound you get when turning on a microphone.

Instinctively, I felt bad for solo guy. He was bent over a notepad, sketching quickly, writing notes and obviously trying to work.

I tried to hem Jo in, reminding her to lower her voice but I was watching solo guy out of the side of my eye and thinking how so many of us, me included, resent the way our kids are omni present with endless interruptions and needs. This line of thought took me to how most of us are also on the never-ending crusade to get more time for ourselves, to work, to think, to create and it�s an endless juggling act since the schedule of a child is as volatile as his/her needs. I am always thinking that if I just had a few more hours, I�d finally get caught up only those �few more hours� are impossible to gather.

A few years back, I read this book about Feng Shui and reorganized my house accordingly. Feng Shui is mostly about dealing with the forces of energy (referred to as chi) and harnessing that energy in a way that has it flow harmoniously. There is a place in the flow of chi that deals with creativity and children. The two are actually inseparable.

That idea of creativity and children being inseparable has always stuck with me and as I was sitting there in the coffee shop, contemplating my solo friend at his table, it occurred to me that because I have children, I am actually more creative and more productive than I was before kids. The reason for this (according to Feng Shui and common sense) is that children, at their nature, are the very essence of creativity. They are completely unbound, they are present in each moment, they are volatile, unpredictable and experience (and express) wild mood shifts that are governed by some internal clock that none of us can really get a handle on. If that�s not the definition of creativity, I don�t know what is.

In looking back at my own life, I remember myself pre-children and I wasn�t that creative. I was a worker bee, yes, I worked a lot but I never really made that much money, I never said anything that was very interesting (I was more a conformist follower back then) and I would hardly call what I did "artistic." I was a news reporter/producer. I schlepped suffering for ratings. Where�s the art or heart in that??

Since kids, my creativity is out of control. I�ve written five books, have another outlined, I study music, garden, sew, make my own cards (not well, but I do it!!). Now, don�t get me wrong, I�m not some Martha Stewart freak, I�m just unbound with creative energy. Within is the ferocious and fearless quality that says I can create just about anything. I practically shake with this juice flowing through my body.

That�s what I get, finally. My children are not a hindrance. They are no barrier. They are nothing to get done with so I can have my life. My children are the juice of my life. They are the heart of my life. What I create now isn�t the result of me being some cool creative person, hardly, this is the by-product of living with kids who give me the daily gift of their amazing life force. I�m in a vat of their creative energy.

It makes me look out in the world and see how American society is one of the least creative in the world. Rather we are vast consumers of the creativity of others because we don�t create much of anything ourselves and we try to fill that void by consuming movies and TV shows and pop music but honestly, what a drag. Maybe one of the reasons there are so many films, pop stars and TV shows is because we can't be filled by the creative output of anyone else, so we are always starving for more, more, MORE. If everyone out there made SOMETHING, created ANYTHING, they wouldn't be so famished and wouldn't consume the art of others (which is most often the unsatisfying and artery clogging equivalent of a Big Mac). They would be filled inside themselves and they would be happy in a way that defies explanation. But, we don't. There is this lack of confidence or this idea that if we aren't making money by our efforts that our efforts are not of merit.

I�ve never been happier than when I am water coloring with my kid. My fruit compositions are amazing and you should see the kitty cats I painted for Halloween. Honestly, they aren't that good but who cares? It�s not really about the quality of the art, it�s about the quality of my heart that is light and free and fearless. That comes to me through the gift of my children. I get it and I am so thankful for them. I'm not complaining anymore. I am simply going to live with them, I am going to create as much as I possibly can, I'm going to write, paint, play, dance, sing and enjoy it rather than complain because when it's over ...IT'S OVER!!

Okay, so we're still having tea and I decide to say something to that solo guy about all of this. Yes, it turned out he too was a parent. Yes, he said he was trying to grab a free moment to work but that he feels really bad for his wife, at home, who never gets enough time to herself to read, clean etc.

He didn�t really buy my whole Feng Shui idea, he was harried and had to get to work but it turned out that he worked at Portland�s biggest book store and he�s going to make sure my books are being mocked up properly. He and I are also exchanging e-mails about the FABULOUS Andrea Buchanan (another amazingly creative/productive woman) and the salon series she�s creating (www.mothershock.com/blog). So there you go. The solo coffee shop guy and I connected for a moment, we found a common link and we may create something together that will make a difference to other people. What�s not cool & creative about that?

He left and Jo was over on her side of the table, smashing her muffin into a thousands pieces (for the birds) and I sat back in my chair. I was in no hurry to get anywhere. I was just with Jo, steeping in her creative vibe and making a solomn vow. No more complaining and a lot more gratitude!