Prolifically Raw: Welcome to my blog!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Welcome to my blog!

Look at this. I'm at my desk, looking at the leafless red oak while the sun fizzles over the edge of my neighbor's roof. Squirrels bicker over acorns and crows yell at each other. The sky bleeds pink and yellow. I'm writing this and you're reading it and who knows the span of time between each act. I can't help wonder what's out your window right now. Guess what, you email me and I get to know. How is this happening?

Last week I was on a flight to New York. I had a window seat in the emergency exit row, was giving silent thanks for legroom and preparing to dissolve into a pile of books. I had a pair of high-powered headphones, a CD player, a pile of books and a journal. With my kids behind me, in the care of their father, and five hours of free time ahead, I was set.

Seconds later, a woman took the seat on the aisle side of our row. She smiled, I smiled, there was a bit of small talk and before I could snap my headphones over my ears, she says, "I know you, you have two kids and live in Portland!" She read Blackbird, her daughter read Blackbird and she knows a bunch of people that I know. We blew two hours talking about motherhood, relationships and life. It was one of those "save the world" conversations where we finally arrived at nothing to say because we said it all.

The luxury of that kind of talk is rare in a world that revolves around impressive fart sounds from a small boy's underarm and Strawberry Shortcake puzzles. A part of me is starved for contact with strong, interesting women. This woman was just terrific, she was confident, smart, funny, quick, outrageous and full of heart. Being around her made me feel good, even after we ran ourselves dry of talk. For the rest of the flight, I read my books and basked in the glow of her silent companionship. We ended up sharing a cab into the city and exchanged cards.

Thanks to her, I found out about this mode of communication. She said, "check out blogs, they're hot."

Is that Blog or BLOG or B.L.O.G. or what? Yikes! Can't we at least have some attractive terms for all this Internet craziness?

Oh well, with a name like blog, linked to technology more transient in nature than the wind, it can't last long but I was on the brink of blogging for a while now. My web site had a page called "Let's Talk," but I hadn't done anything yet. Thanks to my friend on that flight, I am now blogging. "YES!" she wrote in a recent email, "before long you'll be a real geek."

History:
Publishing began four years ago with Blackbird, which received a great deal of national and international attention.

Before I wrote, I lived with the sense that I was isolated in my experiences. Everyone else had it together and I was a mess. I lived with the central desire to get myself figured out which led to writing, which led to publishing, which led to being out of my house and in the world, face to face with people who were full of their own stories. My God, the suffering was staggering. I'm not talking about third world suffering here. I'm talking about privileged Americans who had plenty of food, sturdy educations and good families. People told me things about their lives that were so sad, I wanted sit down and cry...forever.

Simultaneously, I found there was so much love in the people I met too. I'm not talking about "we are the world, we are the children," love. I mean a genuine warmth, openness and kindness.

I was on a flight back to the U.S. from Frankfurt, looking at a view of some pretty wicked mountains that were covered with snow, and ended up crying like a baby. I had to hold up my complimentary pillow so I didn't trouble the other people who were just trying to watch the movie or get some sleep, but I couldn't help it. Witnessing all that suffering and all that love changed me in ways that I couldn't describe. Nothing was like I thought it was. I didn't feel alone anymore and knew I was part of something so big but that thing was as impossible to hold as water. I'd never be the same again but I didn't know who I would become either.

Four years passed and I've been the neurotic but devoted mother of my son (almost eight), I've written two more books (Still Waters and Show Me the Way), I've had a daughter, my marriage of eleven years has ended, I've found myself on a bit of a spiritual path and am writing two more books.

This site is for questions about the books, life, love, surviving, mothering, writing and everything appropriate. I will try to post every Monday. Forgive the typos and grammar snafu's, I am human!!!